You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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