My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize