he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
