a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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