I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
