is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
