So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
