i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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