Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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