I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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