and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
