btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
