At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
