You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
