I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
