you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
