I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
