I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
