You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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