Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am midnight drunk by noon
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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