Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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