Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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