there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
