its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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