I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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