Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
