so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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