everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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