So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
