i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
