I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
