I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
