you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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