she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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