Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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