This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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