don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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