I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
