i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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