Do you still have your period?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
