the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
