you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I will be naked everywhere
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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