is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
