Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize