Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
