My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
