I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I believe in your delicious
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
