I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize