I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
