if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
