I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
