I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
