According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize