I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
