Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
