i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
