some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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