Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
