Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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