This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
handjob tips. give me some.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
