Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize