There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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