But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
