i can't believe i had my finger in that
I could make wine with my vomit
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
