Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize