Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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