Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
