I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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