Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
