I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
