So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
