I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
